let me entertain you.

I am standing in the bathroom, wearing nothing but a strapless bra, leaning over the sink shaving my face. I am trying desperately to remember what my sideburns looked like in the days before they grew down to my neck. Entirely unsure, I hack away at them with the razor until they look plausibly "feminine". 

Welcome to my life right now. You might consider it to be at a little bit of a crossroads, but let me just map it out for you. I'm Corey. A pretty regular, wholesome, nerdy dude by day, stripper by night. A lady stripper. Let me explain.

I'm a trans man. Born female, but living my adult life as the dude person I've always felt like. My body hasn't been surgically altered, but I've been on testosterone for almost a year now. Oddly enough, I pass pretty well as many things, including a boy and a girl. The effects of testosterone seem drastic to me, but to someone with no "before picture" to compare me to, my current self is not beyond the scope of mainstream lady imagery. It's a pretty interesting space to live in - one so fluid and flexible. Also an odd combination of validating and horrifying. But more on that later.

At this point, you might be thinking, "why the hell would you try to dress up like a girl and strip if you went to all the trouble to transition and you want to live as a dude?" and if you are thinking that, congratulations for having an excellently logical if not tiringly heteronormative brain. There are actually a few reasons - and you can decide if they're good ones or not - why I would go to all the trouble to undo and cover up the manliness I worked so hard for. In no particular order, they are:

• to fuck the gender binary
  
• for the love of high heels
• for great cardio
• to pay for my boyfriend's top surgery

Okay, maybe I did save the big one for last. My (fabulous) boyfriend is also trans, and he has also not had top surgery. This is a pretty big deal for him. Something you would call a need. Those of you who've been in the market for this procedure know that despite being very necessary for many people, it's not terribly accessible. You can't just walk into any hospital and expect to find a surgeon who a) knows that people even have this done and b) would be willing to work with you. There are a handful of surgeons around the country that are popular amongst folks seeking chest reconstruction, the man of the hour seeming to be Dr. Charles Garramone in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Anyway, there are a few different ways this procedure can be done, which (in correlation to the size of your pre-op chest) can influence the price. Overwhelmingly, for the most part, insurance does not cover this procedure because it is considered cosmetic. I won't rant about that today. All of this is mostly to say that top surgery is expensive as hell, and most people have to dig up the money for themselves. 


Some folks use their students loans. Some folks take out personal loans or medical loans. Some folks are trust fund babies (fuckers). 


Well, neither of us are trust fund babies, and neither of us are looking to take on an extra 6-8 grand in debt right now. So we're trying something a little less usual. 


I'm going to strip for the money. By July.


So welcome to our little adventure. Two trans men in love, doing whatever works to derive what we need from a framework that is sort of set up to screw us. I say, rather than be oppressed by the gender binary, transphobia in the medical industry, and the ridiculous cost of airfare, why not turn that shit on its head and work it? 

To sum it up, I go to the club and dance, and these guys think they're paying me to take my top off, but actually, they're paying me to take his top off. Would they approve of that if they knew? Well, do I approve of the way they objectify my body and call me "sweetie" as if they knew me? 

I think it's fair.  

Wish us luck, it's going to be a rhythmic ride.